Thaddeus McCotter of Michigan sponsored a bill entitled House Resolution 419 in 2007. It apparently never got out of committee (bills that aren't taken up in committee are wiped from the rolls after a legislative session and have to be reintroduced).
McCotter's bill is here:
http://frwebgate.access.gpo.gov/cgi-bin/getdoc.cgi?dbname=110_cong_bills&docid=f:hr419ih.txt.pdf
I don't think it's specific enough in terms of penalties. I suggest jail time for owners of dogs, commensurate with the kind of jail time given to an adult human for similar bites. Since the dog owners own the dogs, they are responsible for the bites. If a dog bites a child, then it should be as if the owner him or herself has bitten the child. Reprimanding the dog does no good (can a leopard change its spots?), but the owner can be put in a kennel and the dog destroyed.
The National Postal Service endorsed McCotter's bill.
While most of us can do nothing about Wall St. and the Madoffs, dog bites should be something we are all aware of, and thinking about all the time. All we need to do is make dogs illegal within homes, and within the limits of any town or village. At least that's where I would begin. Ultimately, I would like to see a bill that made it illegal for a dog to be within a thousand miles of a human. Penalties would be five dollars per second (cumulative up until a trillion dollars).
This would also help the skyrocketing deficit. Why try to balance the entire budget on the backs of smokers and soda drinkers? Make the dog owners pull their weight.
As a former paperboy, I was bitten on several occasions by anklebiting terriers, chased by German shepherds, and attacked by pitbulls. I carried a baseball bat, and a pellet gun, but it was not enough to deter the wolves. Please make no mistake: dogs ARE wolves. When I see one on the street my heart pounds. I try to figure out an exit plan. Once I fainted and fell down on Main Street when I was approached by a miniature poodle with no apparent leash.
Above is a photograph of a child whose face has been bitten by a pitbull. She is one of 800,000 children EVERY YEAR who require medical attention thanks to dogs and their wolfly qualities.
Thanks to Thaddeus McCotter, the issue has received some attention. If he were to become president, I think we would finally have something done. Vote for Thaddeus McCotter! Save the children of America from the wolves living in our midst and mollycoddled by dog lovers.
I'm sure that in addition to police officers, postal workers, firemen and door-to-door salesmen, we could add cats to the list of those who would support the removal of dogs from within one thousand miles of any human. I support Thaddeus McCotter's bill, but would add specific penalties that would add some bite to the proceedings. Bite Back, People!
3 comments:
Kirb:
We all have irrational sides.
I've developed an irrational fear, for instance, of mosquitoes. Thankfully, I don't live in a part of the country where they're common.
Fear of dogs falls into this category. Domestication of animals has been going on for millennia. Without it, our lives would be drastically different. Taming the beasts of the field is one of the characteristics of civilization.
Horses and cows are much more dangerous to humans. But because of their size, despite the amount of carbohydrates they consume, and the practical uses to which they've been put, we compromise with the "danger" they present.
Today, there are about 80 million dogs owned in the United States. Given the statistic that you cite--800,000 dog bites to children, per year, in this country, that's about 1% of the total number of dogs. Of those 800,000, probably only about 5% involved serious injury. And of that 800,000, probably 75% (at least) involved irresponsible behavior either on the part of the dog-owners, or the so-called "victims" (such as taunting, or other kinds of provocation).
Animals are dumb beasts, but we were dumb beasts once too. Humans still are. Senseless, violent crime committed by humans outnumber such acts by "wild" creatures at least a million to one. Of the total number of shark attacks, for instance, on humans, the numbers of sharks killed, either for "sport" or out of malice, is greater by 100's of millions of individuals. We're out to wipe sharks off the face of the planet. But there are less than 50 "shark attacks" in any given year.
You're right to condemn pet owners, instead of the pets themselves. As a paper boy, I was relentlessly bothered by dogs, but only once was actually bitten (on the calf) by one, and the superfluous tetanus shot I got cause me no grief). I grew up distrusting dogs, because I was never acclimated to them. We had pet cats. My stepfather felt that dogs more properly belonged in the "country" where they could roam and bound about with the freedom their physiologies require.
But as I've gotten older, I've become more fond of dogs. I approach them now without fear. Occasionally, I will be barked at, and scolded by a dog. But I know that's just a vestige of the dog's primitive emotional make-up. He may be protecting his territory, or his owner's safety. Or maybe he just doesn't like my looks. Certainly, humans are capable of all this, and more. Walking down the street in the city, there are always dozens of people I wouldn't want to have anything to do with, just on the basis of their looks.
Your suggested prohibition of dogs is an indication of your irrationality. It's good to see you go off the deep end to defend your attitude, even if you're just spoofing.
Down at our local high school they've set aside a big field enclosed by a cyclone fence, where the dogs in the neighborhood are allowed to gather and play. It's fun to see. They race around and jump and chase balls. Hardly any aggression is shown.
The dog is famously man's best friend. Probably the horse used to be, before cars were invented.
A million years from now, if there are any people or dogs or cats still around, they'll probably be sitting at the dining-room table eating with us, and sharing our bathrooms.
Not if I can do anything about it!
who let the dogs out now that's the question
i know people who feed their dogs from the table
i'm with you on the wild wolf theory my friend i believe the same thing about cats a cat is waiting around staring into space indefinetly like a cheetah waiting for an antelope to lope along
i guess you are able to formally establish that you are against giving dogs any sort of constitutional rights
there are a lot of people who use dogs to fill up the place of children
you have to be sensitive about this
the havasupai people and i think most desert peoples understand that dogs have their own society you leave them to be what they must be nobody owns a dog they simply do their work then retreat to their doggy civilizations their doggy bars doggy discos doggy operas doggy reality TV shows you name it
the whole thing is rather lupey
los lobos
it's a dog eat dog...
how many dogs run free in north america...can anyone tell me
is it time for a dog poem
you scratch your fleas
you lick your balls
you flap your tail on the floor
you run when you sleep
you whine when you're hungry
you drool after drinking from you pan
you're eager for fun
you're given to run
you'll hunt you'd kill if you could
you hear well and your nose is very powerful
picking up every scent
it's been said
you eat shit
is that true mister dog
do you eat shit on occasion
did you ever think in the history of evolution that one day you might appear in a dog show
canine rights
the right to hunt and kill
beware
we're returning to a different form of govt
the dogs will run the show
i hate those eeney teeney dogs
it makes me physically ill to see them
i want to vomit
i imagine i have invented a new game
and i wonder if i could placekick the thing over the wall
but i've never given in
there's a lady who brings her dog to church right up to the altar
i think she's a very strange person and i refuse to go near her
the clouds begin to thunder
the dogs begin to howl
jh
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