I am studying grammar, and working on the problem now of complete and incomplete sentences. I went over this with my second grader and he pretty much had the hang of what is and what is not a complete sentence, but it was intuitive. I have never read a really good account of what makes a "complete thought," except the sense that the sentence is finished (no more information is needed). I decided to make a series of comic vignettes that would teach simple concepts, but do so in a memorable way. Here is my first effort. I wonder if the final word is too much, and should be changed to "Creep!" for the sake of smaller children? I was inspired by the notion of a local middle school teacher (my daughter's teacher) that what was needed was something vivid and interesting to teach grammar. Would a series of a hundred violent little comic vignettes such as this help the matter?
A LITTLE LEARNING IS A DANGEROUS THING, by Kirby Olson
The gorilla looked across at his captive: a hunter still in safari hat.
“Are you ready to die?” asked the ape.
“No.” The man managed to answer. He thought it was too funny that the ape could talk. The ape drank a glass of coconut juice then got up and placed his enormous leather hands on the hunter’s ears.
“What?” The hunter giggled.
“Want to play cards?” the gorilla asked.
“War!”
The gorilla said, “Ok, would you like some sherry?”
“Nope.”
They played War. The ape kept winning.
“Cheater!” screamed the man.
At this, the ape leaped up and tore the man to shreds. Asked by the judge, later, what had set him off, the ape replied, “My superior frontal lobe entitles me to treat the less-endowed with whim. As for this instance, the fact that the man continually spoke in one-word sentences, which I have been raised to believe were incomplete, is sufficient.”
"Hel-lo? Single words can function as complete sentences within quotations," the judge responded. "You seem to have had a very slight education."
The gorilla fumed. He had been brought up in the jungle, and his only grammar study had been with a woman passing through by the name of Jane. The gorilla wondered if he could make a leap at the judge's throat, and make it. Unlikely, given the chains on both sides, as well as the bailiff. He decided to test the judge's hypothesis.
"Bastard!" He seethed, as he was led away in chains.
7 comments:
Kirby,
The story is hilarious, but I don't think it will fly at second grade. The violence is one thing, although you can find worse in Aesop and Saturday morning cartoons. The "bastard" will get you, but "creep" is milquetoast. The occasion requires invective of some sort. And expect that zero-tolerance policies will rule out any reference to alcohol (sherry).
But I also think the dialog is a bit incoherent. "Talk?" does not seem like a reasonable conversational reply to "Are you ready to die?," even given the insight into the hunter's thoughts.
How about...
"Would you like to die?," "No!"
"Would you like a banana?" "Sure!"
"Would you like to play a card game?" "War."
And at the end of the hand, when the ape wins, he can say to the hunter, "You lose," and then crush his skull forthwith.
The judge's soliloquy should end with "Guilty!"
"Am not!" "Are too."
"Am not!" "Are too."
"Not!" "Too!"
"NOT!!" ... "Think about what you just said."
"Point taken."
Much better continuity :-).
Hmm. Further refinements.
"Are you *ready* to die."
and,
"You lose. I guess you're ready now." WHOMP!!
Stu, I like some of these ideas, and might try to incorporate them. I have to try them on slowly, and see what I can do with them. Nice ideas!
hmmmn hurumph hurumph
glagglaue glagooo
ugha ugha
thud thud thudy thudy
arh arh arhgggg
ugha ugha
grrrumph
ugha ugha ugha thudythud thud
beating of the chest
primatial candour
that's all it is anymore
jane goodall eat your heart out
jh
every fourth grader with access to all the information in the world
who needs teachers
I think trying to make grammar fun is a mistake. Being literate is hard work. So is speaking and writing clearly.
Grammar has to do with clarity of thought. It's too serious to turn it into a joke.
IMHO.
jep - Making that which is drudgery exciting is the purpose of a teacher.
When you're having fun and excited about something, your brain works better. Also, you try harder at the thing on your own, so you're going to get more practice in.
There's no reason to make something boring when you don't have to, and every reason to make something boring fun.
If my chemistry teacher in highschool had been as good as my English teacher at making the subject interesting and exciting, I'd probably have a real job right now instead of being a drag on the economy.
A friendly, safe, and civilized drag, but a drag nonetheless.
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