Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Snapple: Globally Refreshing
I mentioned in a class that I drink Diet Snapple. A student from Woodstock said well your head will fall off.
I looked up Aspartame, and aside from a few internet hoaxes, it has never been found to cause cancer or any other problem. The left is against it because they are Luddites.
They don't like technology, and think our cars have caused global warming, and they don't like aspartame, because it isn't "natural," and they don't like deodorant.
It was a strangely cool summer. My tomatoes barely grew. My cucumbers didn't do much. It could be I screwed up but I was talking with a horticulture professor and he said too that nothing grew this summer for him. He uses a greenhouse and fertilizer and even that didn't help. We were talking over Snapple.
Millions and millions of acres of new ice all over the Arctic this winter, he said. I looked it up:
I love the drive-through iced tea at McDonald's. You get a half-gallon for a dollar.
"No ice, please. Unsweetened."
I hate the taste of real sugar. I prefer aspartame, which used to be called Nutrasweet. It goes by other names. It's ultra-sweet, and yet isn't absorbed by the body. I'm down to 162 pounds. I don't like Arizona Iced Tea. I hate the taste of it. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but they use Sucralose. I don't know: it just doesn't taste as good as aspartame. It could just be brand loyalty. I like to stick with what I know. I also don't like boiling tea myself. It takes forever. With Snapple, you unscrew the lid, and drink. Instant satisfaction.
I wonder what it's like to live in Chad, and have dimples, and not be able to purchase Snapple. I wonder what it's like to dwell in Cambodia, among the ruins of Angkor Wat, and not have a convenience store nearby in which you can choose a Snapple: I sometimes sweat over lemon vs. peach. Millions in India ride their crumpled bicycles among the ancient thoroughfares, and yet they must boil their tea. In Japan there's all this nonsense about the flavor of green tea over rice. Throughout the Middle East, people claim to know how to drink black tea. Tee hee! I prefer Snapple.